Wildest Dreams
by Miss Nostalgia
Summary: A year and a half since Mayama left for Japan. A year and a half since Yamada tried to move on. Both aren't ready to admit, but there are changes that are coming into their lives, testing their faith, love, and beliefs. Mayama/Rika, Nomiya/Yamada. Probability of: Mayama/Yamada
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't and will never own Honey and Clover, or any of its characters for that matter. If I did, the pairings would surely be different xD.

So this is just another story about Yamada and Mayama being away, and how the former tries her best to move on with her life knowing that it's impossible for Mayama to love her back. I'll try my best to make this story a little different from the others that I've read. After all these years, I'm still hooked with Honey and Clover and never really got over it. Although I've accepted the endings, I could always make it different with my version eh? I hope that you will read and review, keep me updated with your thoughts. Enjoy!

 _ **Yamada's POV**_

I let out a deep sigh. It's been a year and a half since he left for Spain. It's been a year and a half of mending my broken heart, and a year and a half of repeatedly waking up to see Nomiya-san staring down at me in what I have always believed to be pity and sadness. I really don't understand myself, of how I cannot simply forget about him. He always made it clear to me that he won't ever see me more than a dear friend.

I've always wondered to myself what I saw in Mayama that makes it so hard to let go. Is it because he's handsome? Is it because he's responsible? Do I really need to have a reason for loving him? All these questions spiraling in my head again and again, seemingly unable to stop. I thought that if I let myself see him with Rika-san, things would be finally okay and I would finally be able to accept the fact that I don't stand a chance against her.

There are emails from him that I read over and over again, even if those were just to ask how the gang has been, and of how I have been. I eagerly respond to his emails, even if there's this painful twinge in my heart that refuses to disappear, and ask back how he is himself, of his job, and of the two of them. I could feel it, that he always tried to be careful with his words, so much because he doesn't want to hurt me any further.

Nearing into a year that he left Japan, the emails stopped, and I really didn't know who stopped sending first. I didn't want to care. All I wanted was to be able to move on and be happy, and it has been Nomiya-san who's doing that frequently. Honestly, this makes me hate myself even more, because I'm still not sure if I can reciprocate his feelings. This must have been what Mayama felt with me, and it's so damn hard because you don't want to hurt the other person, but you just unintentionally do.

All the time.

Our friends always ask me how I am, because they've always been aware of my feelings for Mayama. Morita-san, the least person you'd expect to be so concerned, never failed to cheer me up and annoy me at the same time. He comes home unexpectedly to surprise us and especially Hagu-chan, bringing along with him gifts and other various items that are just as weird as him. I really envy them, Morita-san and Hagu-chan I mean. Even if both were so engrossed in their projects and are countries apart, they remained true to their words and only loved each other more. Takemoto-kun, on the other hand, met a girl his age during his first few months at the company he worked for at Morioka. She also graduated from an art school, very smart as she graduated with honors, and turned out to be one of the company's managers. According to Takemoto-kun, she very nice, was almost as tall as him, not too skinny, but very rambunctious. She was the manager, he said, but she often helped him and the other guys were their woodwork. It seemed to me that Takemoto-kun may have finally found his match, and I really wanted to meet her someday.

It still hurts to think that Mayama is finally with the one he loves, but maybe this is the final push, the sign that I should move on with my life and accept the man who has the chanve of making me truly happy.

Seeing my friends happy takes some of the loneliness of my chest, and I just smile at the memories that we had when we were all together.

Maybe this is the time for me to open my heart to Nomiya-san.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Honey and Clover.

 **Mayama's POV**

It's been a year and a half since I left Japan, and I honestly thought that my life would finally turn to the direction I wanted it to go to. I had it all planned out, almost made a story out of it even. Up until now I can't really point my finger on it, but something seems to be not right.

I came back to Spain for three reasons: (1) So that I could be with Rika-san and be able to fend off Mr. Gorilla off her back, (2) So that I could earn more experience, (3) So that I could earn more money and save-up.

During our first few months back in Spain, I couldn't hold back. I really didn't want that hairy man going near her, it just made me crazy. So I got the nerve to tell her everything, all the pain I went through, and explained to her how willing I was to go through everything with her, even if it meant hurting myself all over again. I didn't care. Selfish as I am, I wanted her to accept the fact that Harada-san was dead, and clinging to him as if he was alive will just kill her if she won't allow me to save her.

After months of pursuing her, goal # 1 was finally achieved. I had the girl that I've always wanted. Carlos finally backed off and even congratulated us on finally getting together. I was over the moon! Rika-san was finally mine, and I could not wait to start a new life with her, even if we were still in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage.

I would often take her to dates all around the country, thanking God for the money that I have saved up from previous jobs back in Japan. I always did my best in making it romantic and worth her time. I knew how much she loved going to the countryside, so I rented a jeep and to the countryside we went.

I finally knew the real reason why there was always this silence between me and Rika-san. She told me herself that she liked to be silent whenever she was around the people she liked. To her, it didn't matter if there wasn't any conversation to begin with. Being with the person you like is already enough. It was like the starry sky was blanketed over us when we were together.

I never forgot about my friends in Japan, and would send each one of them emails once in a while. The first person that I wrote to was Hanamoto-sensei, telling him of our arrival and assuring him of my intentions with Rika-san. I next wrote to Takemoto, giving my encouragements and told him to work hard and never forget to save money. I told Morita-san how I secretly envied his success abroad, but nonetheless cheered for him to continue his work as I know how much he enjoys it, and told him to call Hagu-chan. Although Hagu-chan and I weren't really close, save for those incidents where she cried over Yamada-san's womanly parts, I asked her how the rehab's going. I know it's going to be a long and painful process, but what with the talent and passion I saw in her, I'm sure that she'll survive the ordeal. And Yamada-san, I know how heartbroken she was when I left, or rather even while I was still there.

I've always made it clear to her that we couldn't be more than friends. Yes, I admit that she was very beautiful. She could get any man that she wanted, but I just was not for her, and I thought that she wasn't for me either. I entered Hamabi University and enrolled in architecture believing that I always liked to design things and fix things with my hands, much more like Takemoto did. And when I first laid eyes on Rika-san, that need to fix something came back to me. I had never seen a human being so fragile, so broken. Yamada was neither. She was strong, feisty, and was able to physically defend herself from men as well. Rika-san was just a hollow being, a shell of her former self. But when I see Yamada-san with Nomiya-san, a rush of over-protectiveness comes over me. It was hard to distinguish whether I was jealous of the attention that she gave him, or was I simply concerned for her well-being? I settled for the latter. Yamada was one of my best friends, and as someone who is older than her, I felt that it as my job to protect her. And yet all the protection I gave her just hurt her even more. I was blinded by my desire to make her let go of me and shield her away from the one man who could have made her happy. It was crazy really, but I decided that it was better than not protecting her at all.

I told her of my arrival and the nature of my job, and told her that my stay was indefinite. I was going to stay with Rika-san for as long as she needed me to. There were just more projects springing up, and I couldn't be happier since this meant more time for us and more money. I also asked how she was holding up with Fujiwara Design, and if Nomiya-san has been kind to her. I decided not to delve in that topic further, because I didn't want to hurt her.

Of all our friends, it was just Hanamoto-sensei and Yamada-san who I frequented in exchanging emails. I understood that the others were busy with their respective careers, and I can only pray that things will always go well for them. I didn't know who stopped writing first, but I didn't receive any emails from Yamada-san anymore. I also stopped myself from any attempts on calling her. I needed to stop myself from hurting her.

After all, I am already here with Rika-san, right? What more could I ask for?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Honey and Clover y'all!

Author's notes: I have read this fic, still a Honey and Clover one, about Yamada getting a haircut. I may give a reference to this fic, as would every woman who wants to move on and forget something, I think that's quite relatable no? Anyway, you should read that fic, I totally forgot the title but it's totally worth reading as it's a tear-jerker as well.

Chapter 3: Cutting the precious strands of yesterday

"Yo, Yamada-san," Nomiya said as he walked towards the long-haired girl who was on full concentration behind the pottery wheel.

Yamada looked up and turned to where the voice came from. "Oh, hello there Nomiya-san. I didn't hear you come in. Please take a seat, I'll just clean myself for a moment," Yamada said as she stood up and wiped her hands on her working apron. She walked over the comfort room to wash her hands and fixed her hair in a loose bun.

As she took a seat near him, Nomiya examined her. She grew even more beautiful than before, and so did her hair. But as with the passing time, there was still that weary sadness in her blue eyes that refused to go away, even if it was already a year and a half since Mayama left.

"Would you like some tea?" She asked him, giving him a small smile as she stood up and took two cups from the cupboard, definitely not taking no for an answer. "Of course, that would be great."

She was definitely not like the other girls he used to date. He liked this child-like quality in her, and the way she brings herself, how she didn't care whether she wasn't much lady-like, he loved that about her. He didn't notice that she was already done pouring him a cup of tea when she snapped him out of his trance. "Moshi-moshi? Are you still sleepy, Nomiya-san?" Yamada asked with an amused expression. "Gomen, I just came back from Tottori and I haven't really slept that much," he explained while brushing away the strands of hair falling over his eyes.

"How are you Yamada-san?" he asked, taking a sip of the tea that he now came to like. "Ah, I'm good. Been keeping myself busy with research work and tending our store. I'm thinking of opening a shop in our shopping district where I can display my works, but I'm still saving up for that."

"Really? It's good to hear that. Would you like me to design your shop? Don't worry, it's gonna be free of charge. We're friends after all," Nomiya offered her, hoping that she would accept.

"Oh no, I'm not gonna take advantage of you like that. It's still in the planning phase, so I'll just call you when I've finally decided, you can just give me a discount, but it will definitely be a no-no if you offer me your services for free!" She said, flashing him a toothy smile, one that he always loved to see.

They continued to talk for a while when his cellphone rang. It was Miwako, and she told him that there was an emergency back in the office. Great. He just came back all the way from Tottori and thought that he could at least spend half the day with Yamada.

"Yamada-san, there's an emergency back at the office. I'm needed there to do some revisions," he told her.

She just nodded and told her that they could talk next time, and that he really should sleep afterwards so that he could catch up with a much-needed rest. Nomiya stood up and bade Yamada goodbye. Reaching for his car keys, his gaze went back to the window where Yamada was still visible. _When will you open your heart to me?_ Nomiya thought. He certainly didn't have the same thoughts that he had unlike the previous relationships that he had. He smiled to himself, and thought what an idiot he was for worrying too much.

"Eh… What am I worried about? That young one isn't here to pester me. Let's just see where this brings the both of us," he murmured to himself as he took a seat inside his car and started the ignition. Today was surely a beautiful day, but a waste at that as he couldn't spend it with her.

Yamada made sure to finish all the plates and bowls that needed to be made that morning. When she was finally done, she stretched out her arms and flexed her muscles. "Uwaah, I can't believe I finished all of 'em. What a relief, now I can finally take a break," she said to herself as she cleaned up and changed her clothes. As she was done changing her shirt, she turned to face the mirror and saw her reflection. _My hair has gotten really long, and I can't even remember the last time I had it trimmed._ She sighed wistfully; she always thought she'd look even more beautiful with her long hair. Now, there wasn't anyone to show it off to. It was becoming a problem even, getting loose hair stuck on the clay from time to time.

"Maybe it's time that I change myself," she murmured to herself, caressing her hair. Staring at her own reflection in the mirror produced a slightly painful feeling, as she remembered the Yamada that always ran after Mayama. The Yamada that was still unable to move on.

"Yosh. I really think it's time to change. You can do it Yamada. If this love you have for Mayama is unselfish, you can wish the best for him. For yourself as well."

Two hours later, a young woman with a tall figure, possessing honey-colored hair that almost touched her shoulders emerged from the beauty shop. Yamada Ayumi thought all the weight on her shoulders was finally lifted off of her. She inhaled deeply and let out a hopeful sigh as she navigated her way through the crowd. Lots of men looked her way, awed by her beauty, yet she didn't give it much of a thought. _Those guys aren't him. Gah! Stop it Ayumi, I thought you were going to finally move on? Then such thoughts shouldn't even be present right now. What's important right now is that you improve yourself, just like the rest of the gang._

"Oka-san, tadaima!" Yamada shouted inside the house to greet her mother.

"Welcome home honey. How was your day? Could you help me with – " Mrs. Yamada stopped in her tracks when she saw her daughter's transformation.

"Oh Ayumi-chan. Oh dear me, you've got me at a loss for words. Your new hair suits you very much. Lightens up your face even more," her mother complimented, as she tucked the strands of hair behind her daughter's ear.

"You really think so oka-san? I wasn't so sure about cutting it this short, but I've always had long hair since I was little, so I thought maybe a change in its length wouldn't be too bad." Yamada said nervously. She wasn't really sure about how short she wanted it to be, but decided on the present length anyway. What mattered was that the shadows would be finally gone.

"Yes, I truly think so. You look more mature with that. Come now, help me get those boxes right there. We'll need to bring it to the store so that your father can arrange it for display tomorrow," her mother said as she pointed to a couple of boxes on the floor. Yamada nodded and smiled at her mother, thanking her for the compliment, and also making her way to the store with the boxes.

Her father was surprised when he saw his daughter as well, and thought how cute she looked with her new hair, as did her friends in the shopping district. She didn't really think she'd be getting all this attention by cutting her hair, but she guessed people got used to her long and beautiful hair that they must have thought that wouldn't change about her.

"Things need to change though, even my hair. Nothing's really permanent. I need to be happy for him, and I also need to be happy for myself," she murmured to herself quietly as she gazed at the sun that was soon to set that afternoon. Flecks of dust streamed down the sunlight, as if sliding down with it. _How beautiful_. The plant that got its branch broken now stood tall. Mother was right, she thought to herself. For something to grow again, you need to get rid of the broken parts.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her cellphone's notification tone rang. She opened her cellphone to see who it was from.

Nomiya-san:

 _Are you free tonight? Would you like to eat dinner with me? If yes, I'll pick you up at your house at 6:30 Don't worry, right after the meeting I went home and slept, so as expected I have fully recovered now._

She chuckled and sent a quick reply, saying that she was free and he could come pick her up later. Nomiya replied immediately, and she decided to tell her parents that Nomiya invited her out for dinner.

"This Nomiya-san you've been talking about, you have been going out with him lately. Should I be worried, Ayumi-chan?" Mr. Yamada told his daughter. Even with his tough exterior, he was such a softie when it came to his daughter.

"You shouldn't be oto-san. Nomiya-san is a nice man, and we've known each other for almost two years already,"

"Well, does he plan on introducing himself formally to me and your mother anytime soon?"

"Oto-san! We're not even dating. But if he isn't busy, I'll introduce you to him to ease your worries. Oh, that must be him outside."

As Yamada opened the door, Nomiya stood outside and gave her a sly smile. "May I come in?" he asked. Yamada obliged as she nodded, and took a step backward as she made her way back to her father with Nomiya.

"It seems that the heavens have heard you oto-san. Nomiya-san, this is my father, Yamada Takashi. Oto-san, this is Nomiya Takumi from Fujiwara Design," Yamada said as she introduced the two men before her.

Yamada's father gave a stiff nod to Nomiya and shook hands with him, telling him to take his daughter home afterwards. Nomiya-san bowed respectfully to Yamada's father as the pair left and entered Nomiya's car. "You're father is quite scary. He really adores you as well," Nomiya told his observations. This earned him a soft laugh from Yamada. "Don't think I didn't notice the big change in you. Your hair suits you well, made you look even more beautiful than before," he said sincerely as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Yamada blushed a shade of pink as she felt her heart skip a beat, and thanked him for the compliment. The city lights outside illuminated the road and were just so pretty to look at and Yamada didn't want the car ride to be filled with silence so she started a conversation.

"Do you want to ride the Ferris wheel again, Yamada-san?" Nomiya asked her out of the blue.

She faced him, and all those memories of crying over Mayama and wishing he would come after them came rushing back. But that was all in the past now. Here she was with the kind Nomiya, who always took her to places that were beautiful and breathtaking.

"Yes, I do, Nomiya-san. But we should eat first, neh?" Yamada replied as both laughed in response to the growling noises that both of their stomachs released.

The pair went to a restaurant not far from where the Ferris wheel was. As they finished eating, Nomiya suddenly grabbed her hand and intertwined it with his, not caring if he proved to be too forward. _He has such soft hands_ , Yamada thought to herself. They then entered the amusement park to where the Ferris wheel was, and Yamada couldn't help but feel happy that Nomiya was with her on such a beautiful night, high and up above, looking down at the world below them.


End file.
